Take That

TAKE THAT AND PARTY (1992)
DAD: Mum's choice, but I doubt she'd claim to have been caught up in the hysteria first time round, too ancient at 22 years old. First thing to note is that the production is so tinny as to sound like it's being transmitted down a taught piece of garden twine. Let me wind you back down the years, to the days of our youth. The That filled a gap last occupied by...well, it's hard to remember really. Curiosity Killed The Cat? Bros? Stock Aitken and Waterman were on the wane, and anyway, their cynicism was limited to the musical sphere. The whole boyband packaging thing took on a new dimension with Take That. To be fair to them, they came across as genuinely likable kids in those days, especially Robbie (first names only here folks) who would often crop up on the Big Breakfast on Channel 4 opposite Oirish puppet aliens Zig and Zag and give a pretty good account of himself. On here he is slightly shrill. Barlow (I'll make an exception on the name thing for him) is main songwriter, although probably the best songs on here are Manilow's 'Could It Be Magic' and 'It Only Takes A Minute', which wasn't his either. But he does contribute 'A Million Love Songs'. It's all nice and energetic, 'Satisfied' probably sounded the same if you were sat next to someone on the train who was listening to it through their orange foam headset at high volume as it does listening to it directly. A lyrical note on the opening 'I Found Heaven'; they sing "I thought I found love, With somebody else's girl, yeah oooh" (for accuracy I reproduce the lyrics verbatim) which is a clear echo (rip-off) of Jocelyn Brown's 'Somebody Else's Guy'. And my latest offering to the copyright lawyers is that they take a look at 'I Can Make It' and decide if Go West have a case to prosecute for 'The King Of Wishful Thinking' (although this may be a Blockbuster/Jean Genie scenario regarding close timings). Barlow's lyrics are generally bland, but for these kind of songs that's not a problem at all. The edgiest they get is in the fnarrsome song title 'Give Good Feeling'. Cover art: Even in a still photograph, Barlow transmits his inability to dance.

SON: Well, talk about a tale of two halves. Honestly, I am actually quite looking forward to ‘The That’, as I have never really hated a song of theirs. Then again, I only know the modern band. The one that got back together in 06. But, anyway, back to the nineties. I won’t lie, the opening track of ‘I Found Heaven’ Is pretty great. It’s not fine art or anything. But it is ok, as is ‘Once You Tasted Love’. But…eh? There isn’t enough song variety. ‘Once You Tasted’ goes on far too long while still being the exact same all the way through. ‘It Only Takes A Minute’ has a lot of weird techno elements in it. It almost feels refreshing, but then it loses it. Also, the synth tune is a complete rip off of the Mortal Kombat theme. In fact, almost everything thus far sounds like something else. Case in point, satisfied is the ‘Space Jam’ theme. And then there’s the rap breakdown. Oh god…there is only so much nineties a guy can take. I found myself Quite liking ‘Promises’. I mean, it still sounds like something else (what, I can’t tell). ‘Give Good Feeling’ is listenable as well. Still cheesy as hell, to the point where I can smell it coming from my phone, but the high tempo is quite good. Makes it that bit bouncier. ‘Could It Be Magic’ is another rip off.  I KNOW I have heard this somewhere before with different lyrics. Don’t know where though. The title track also decided to rip of the mortal Kombat theme. I listen to the bridge bit and can’t help but expect someone to yell “MORTAL KOMBAT!” at the end of it. Other than that this is not that bad. If it wasn’t for the aforementioned rip off I would probably like this more. ‘How Can It Be’ is quite nice. Slow and relaxing. Nothing special. Also, don’t feel like its ripping anything off. so, you know. That’s nice. The album ends with ‘Guess Who Tasted Love’ which I guess is a remix of ‘Once you tasted love’. Its actually pretty good. As is this album. I mean, It’s not something I would ever listen to again. But there is nothing wrong with it, aside from all the ripping. The album cover is the band members, near shirtless, doing the most boyband-y thing ever underneath the nineties MS word art title.

EVERYTHING CHANGES (1993)
DAD: It took four people to write the title track. Four! Including Barlow. Admittedly it's terrific pop, but complex it ain't. They follow it with 'Pray', which is all Gary's own work. Bless him. By now Take That were Saturday Morning TV bestriding behemoths and black and white videos with a safe amount of arty-fartyness were de rigeur. Didn't Mark spend a lot of time exposing his chest on a beach for this one? I can't bring myself to look on YouTube, for fear of being disappointed. If that's Barlow singing on 'Wasting My Time', I reckon he'd have been well advised to attack it from an octave further down. Lulu makes her cougar-ish appearance in 'Relight My Fire' ("YEEEEAAAH!") which I didn't realise until now is a Dan Hartman cover. There's a good mix of upbeat pop-disco and drippy ballads. Howard has a go at writing and singing lead on 'If This Is Love'. Which is OK. I couldn't have done it. Those synthetic brass swoops used on 'Pray' get a second outing though. The second half is all Barlow. Motown-lite on 'Whatever You Do To Me', bland pop-disco on 'Meaning Of Love', the pretty awful lead single 'Why Can't I Wake Up With You' and so on and so on. They pull it out of the fire at the last moment with the above-average 'Babe' in which Mark knocks on an old flame's door only to find she's gone - Cliff Richard's 'Carrie' anyone? - but unlike Cliff, who could get "no forwarding address", Mark is in luck, the old geezer who has moved in has a number he can call. He might regret it though, his ex has sprogged - Child Support Agency ahoy! Cover art - lovely clean-cut boys, but no Spaghetti Bolognese or chocolate ice cream while you've got those nice clothes on lads!

SON: Let me get this out of the way: this album is far too much like the first one. It hits every “eh, so what” note in my body. I mean, it isn’t that bad, same as the first album. But that’s my problem. I would rather a bad album that’s different, rather than good but the same. Is that strange? Is that Just me? Maybe. The title track is good, but again very similar to everything else. “Pray” is not a religious song, and yet I kind of wish it was. Then I could have something to say. I mean, you can even compare this to their more recent albums. Each song on each album is unique in some way, and each album is different overall. But this does just sound like I am listening to “And Party” again. I mean, sure it’s more competent, but it seems to exist more to just maintain the status quo. Also, why does every song have to fade? What’s wrong with just ending, or a continuous ending note, or SOMETHING! Also, more instruments than just drum, saxophone, piano, guitars and Modular synths. Variety wouldn’t hurt. Where’s the ukulele? The double base? Cellos? ANYTHING! By the way, who is that in “Relight My Fire?” apparently, Its “Lulu”. Whoever that is. I can’t be bothered to research. This album is giving me nothing, other than to ironically complain about things that I had no problems with whilst doing FOB or Gorillaz. I think that the problem is that those two had an identity. Early Take That is just generic pop music. The same 3 or 4 melodies with minorly different lyrics each time. I would accuse them of being lazy, but… Have you listened to Capital Radio recently? There is heaps more effort here than in modern pop. Although, ‘Whatever You Do To Me’ is a bit different. At the start. Then we go back to the same old gig. And this album reached number 1? To Quote ‘FUN.’ (a far better band compared to this version of the that) This album “has become as Vapid as a night out in los Angeles’. Never has that line been more appropriate. Cover: Oh, get a room you five.

NOBODY ELSE (1995)

DAD: It's poor. Despite the presence of mega-smash 'Back For Good', which doesn't really bear close scrutiny anyway. Barlow's singing sounds like he's suffering from a mild case of heartburn. His breath control is non-existent. They've drafted in Brothers In Rhythm on a lot of the production. I know nothing of them, but the production is very much of it's time. Robbie does a very weird voice on the painfully repetitive 'Every Guy' which eventually disintegrates into absent-minded humming. 'Sunday to Saturday' is a moderate rip-off of Cherelle's 'Saturday Love' from 1985 and not an eighth as good, especially as it descends into rubbish lite-jazz. It doesn't get much slushier than the title track. I'm sure they, or at least their management, knew their fanbase but surely even a 14 year old girl suffering a hormone rush couldn't have found it all that appealing could they? It's actually very miserable and goes on and on and on and on. Possibly the best thing on the wretched thing is 'Never Forget', which at least hints at a degree of self awareness and Robbie's impending departure. Here's the real indication of how much I disliked this album. I feel indignant that they ripped off a Simply Red song title with 'Holding Back The Tears'. If I'm feeling sympathy for Mick Hucknall then something is badly wrong. As if they read my mind, the next track is called 'Hate It'. Take That have invented the self-reviewing song! More attention should have been paid at the time of release to 'Lady Tonight'. We would then have been forewarned of what a terrible rapper Robbie Williams is. Sweet little Mark lowers the curtain on the whole sorry mess with another dose of sickly sweet mush. And as for the sheer brass neck of even hinting at Sgt. Pepper with the cover art. If this review raises even a smidgeon of curiosity in you that it cannot be that bad, resist any temptation to investigate. Just take my word for it. I'm hurt and upset. Over to you Son.

SON: The next two will be quick as somehow I managed to write both of them, and then they got deleted. So…Yea. Kind of mad as hell over that. Anyway, this is better than Everything Changes, but just isn’t good. Okay its good, but my problems still hold. A few too many instruments that have no place, and really cringe worthy lyrics. “Back for good” is good, as are a few others, But I just wish they would stop. Just do something more. Something new. Then again, this isn’t exactly for me. My musical tastes are rooted in the early 2000’s nu-metal scene, and all that junk, so softer, soppy nineties boy bands are not where I come from. If you were there, this might be for you. But it certainly isn’t for me. Cover: Five, four, three, two, one, Take That are go *fanfare*.

BEAUTIFUL WORLD  (2006)

Here's some depressing context for you. Take That have been back in business for about as long as they were out of it before this album, In fact it feels a bit like they are still making a comeback. Robbie bailed out and pooped the party and they limped on as a foursome, I seem to remember a dire version of the Bee Gees 'How Deep Is Your Love'. In fact, after the drugs and doughnuts it seemed like Rob had risen from the ashes victorious when the all-conquering Life Thru A Lens album came out, while Barlow fell flat on his face and seemed destined for a rapid return to the northern working men's clubs where he learned what we shall call, for sake of argument, his 'craft'. Mark managed to get out his reasonably well received but not that successful Green Man album and had a decent hit with '4 Minute Warning' before reaching the depths of Celebrity Big Brother. Howard and Jason never even got that far. Robbie just got more and more annoying and seemed to be suffering a talent haemorrhage that still hasn't been stemmed. The shock when the That resurfaced was that they sounded halfway decent. For me this comeback album doesn't quite grab you like it should. The single 'Patience' felt like a stroke of genius at the time, emotional, big sound, decent video, but 10 years on it falls a bit flat. Credit where it's due, I moan constantly about Elton and Adele pretending to be American when they sing, but Mark on 'Shine' and Howard on 'Mancunian Way' are faithful to their native accents. However for me, the standout is poor old Jason Orange on 'Wooden Boat'. The frail, forgotten man of Take That gives quite a touching performance on a good song.

SON: This, however, is for me. This came out at the time when my musical tastes where taking root. As such, even if it’s not exactly my type, it was around at the same time, so some inspiration (no matter how minor) should be there. And, yes, this is much better. They have cleaned up their instruments, limiting it down to the basics. Drums, guitars, bass, piano occasionally, and singing. No more weird sax solos, or weird modular synths. My only real complaint would be how forgettable it all is. There are only a few notable songs (most of which are, in all honesty, legitimately great), and the rest is kind of dull filler. GOOD dull filler, but just dull filler. Oh well. You can’t win em all. Cover: I got nothing even minorly humorous to say.

THE CIRCUS (2008)

DAD: By now Take That had established themselves back as a serious proposition and were firmly occupying enormo-dome and stadium territory. This is pretty clearly aimed at being fuel for an all-singing and dancing stage show. And why not? Barlow is a decent, if unimaginative, songwriter, so he was able to write songs that hit about the right level of blandness and singalongability, 'Greatest Day' being a case in point. But here's the problem, whilst he's their best asset, he's also the biggest liability. A charm vacuum while his bandmates have it in spades. Why Mark Owen isn't the modern day Tommy Steel I'll never know and he ramps up the cheeky chappie persona to the max on this. In fact on the third track 'Hello' he makes a passable attempt at some Small Faces style English music hall pop. Jason is clearly trying to tell us something on his single vocal contribution, 'How Did It Come To This' where he uses words like 'schizophrenic', 'indecision', 'expectation', 'neurotic' and 'compartmentalising'. No-one came here for a lecture on psychotherapy Jase. Meanwhile Howard sounds quite a lot like Glenn Tillbrook on 'Here'. It's a nice album cover. If you're having trouble with your broadband, just check that there isn't an ageing boyband balancing on the wires to your house.

SON:  Returning to keep up this winning new style. Most of these songs are ones I would listen too on their own. And most are ones most people would know in some capacity. Sure, there are a few synths here and there, which is something I have harped on about, but there is a difference of these being softer. Then come the songs. “The Garden” is a nicely cinematic song. “Greatest Day” is… greatest day. We all know it. It's full, loud and powerful. 'Hello' I am on the... fence about. The opening instrumental is a tad too cowboy-dinner for me, but the rest is nice enough. Even if the lyrics are kind of eh. 'Said It All' is another Powerful cinematic one. Actually, yea. Almost every track falls into the “very good/ legitimately great” pile (depending on your opinion). 'Julie' kind of loses me. Lyrically it's just kind of okay. Oh well. At least it sounds good. The title track 'The Circus' is… not so good. It’s not bad by any means, but there is a horrible effect on the vocals, which only works on very certain songs, and not this one. The rest of it is just kind of dull, though. Good job rhyming “schizophrenic” with “explain it” on “How Did It Come To This”. Other than that, though, it’s just another bit of good music. And another. And another. I gave up at this point. It's good. Possibly great in places. NEXT! Cover: No, sorry, they are being electrocuted right now.

PROGRESS (2010)

DAD: Robbie's back, and he immediately imposes his strained, hubristic whine all over the first track, 'The Flood'. One can only imagine that it made commercial sense to him to rejoin the fold. He's been on his uppers since the turn of the century. I suppose you could say that he brings a harder edge to proceedings and he drags Owen along with him on 'SOS' which is all a bit too frantic. They do know that their audience is now middle aged women don't they? There's a few Williams-Barlow collabs on this, which might form the basis of a thesis on songwriting partnerships and how each participant tries to impose their own style on the output. Barlow goes ahead with The Flood, Williams grabs an equalizer with 'Wait' and then they park the bus and play out a draw on the quite interesting music-box-like 'Pretty Things'. I worry that there is some element of America's 'Horse With No Name' in the DNA of the rather strident 'Kidz'. They seem to be insistent on putting a fuzzy production on all of Owen's vocals. In fact the production is all too much throughout. Having said all that...it's not bad, their best so far I'd say, it feels more contemporary and at least they're taking some risks. However the songwriting collaboration with Ultravox on 'Eight Letters' is just reckless. Those 'Voxy chimes make it sound like a Christmas single. But at the death, it's Orange once again who pulls a musical rabbit out of the Take That hat, with his rather sad and odd 'Flowerbed. He will be missed.

SON:  Robbie’s back, and that means… I don’t actually know what that means. I am going to be straight here: I don’t know whether it like this album or not. Parts of it make me want to love it. Parts of it…don’t. I am tempted to blame Robbie for all of this album's shortcomings. I won’t (I have no proof that Robbie has anything to do with why this album is the way it is) but is so tempting to name the bad half as “Robbie’s half”. Right, to start off: can this album decide if it’s a concept album? I swear, songs like 'The Flood', 'Kidz', 'SOS', 'Happy Now' and 'Underground Machine' all feel like they want to be part of some high concept, story driven album of the type that bands that I like (such as, and I am trying my hardest not to mention him this review, but I guess its arbitrary at this point, Celldweller) put out on the regular. All of the lyrics of these songs feel like they want to be connected, and to be telling some sci-fi epic about the fall of humanity. Maybe something “Nineteen Eighty-Four” based. I mean, 'Muse' Pulled that off with 'The Resistance', which tonally and stylistically really isn't so different from this. But then songs like 'Wait', “What Do You Want From Me?', 'Affirmation', 'Flowerbed', 'Eight Letters' and “Pretty Things” (which I will say I like musically. Lyrically I will get to later) all want something very different. They seem to have fallen through a wormhole from a universe where Nineties Take That never split, and they just kind of kept going (no doubt in that universe Circle Of Dust never existed, and Star Wars episode 2 is the best movie in the series) and are trying so, so, SO hard to go back to the nineties. It’s painful. The lyrics are really, really childish. I mean, as much as I like the instrumental of this song, and how I can’t help humming it at times, 'Pretty Things' sports the lyrics “all the pretty things, god bless the pretty things, so collectable, why not collect them all” as well as “God, I love those hips”. I mean, REALLY? I can’t help but cringe when I hear these. The others are on the above “bad” list are not as bad as this, but they are bland and vapid as hell. Musically dull, and far too close to the nineties bad stuff. Luckily there are no sax solos. But maybe that’s a bad thing. A bit of sax may liven these up. Give them something memorable. Ah. One can only have one thing, and this is what I have. I don’t know what else to say. I want to like this album. The good songs I adore, but the bad…well. It’s not nineties bad. But its close. Cover: The evolution of Take That: not like its shown here

III (2014)

So can you guess why the album has this title? It's subtle. I'll give you three guesses. Williams had presumably cashed his cheque and so could return to making monotonous, brash pop while winking knowingly at the camera in all his videos. His latest 'Dance Like A Russian' is particularly offensive. They're well shot of him. Not so Jason Orange, who presumably felt that he's accrued enough of a fortune to see him right for the rest of his days and retired gracefully. You'll have detected my respect for JO growing as I've gone along. Hidden depths there I'd say. This starts pretty well. 'These Days' is good crowd pleasing fodder. Suitable for skipping up and down the stage clapping your hands above your head while the confetti cannons blast away. I liked the Eurovisic electro-tribal rhythms on the Owen-sung 'Lovelife'. Nice bit of stompy electro-boogie on 'I Like It'. There's something about 'Give You My Love' that takes me back to Nelly and Kelly doing 'Dilemma'. (Yeh. That's right. I can make references to those modern hippy-hoppy artists too you know). Barlow has a tendency to over-sing on the lower tempo songs like 'Portrait' and 'Freeze' but Owen comes through on the Euro-disco of 'Into The Wild'. We were encouraged to do this album sequence by the most important woman in both our lives, and she tells me that her favourite on this album is 'Flaws' due to it's honesty and the fact that it's written in waltz time. If she likes it, then it's good enough for me. Take That have indeed come a long way and may be not too sure where they've been. It's feelgood pop, and we all need some of that.

SON:  And we reach the end of this journey. Before I get on with my overall on the that, though, may I just say that this album is… bloody great? Unlike Progress, each song fits, stylistically. And they are all good. Some even great. Personal favourites are “Love Life” and “Higher and Higher”, but overall I think that I like this album on par with some of my favourite bands. On a side note, “Get Ready For It” was used in Kingsman, which is kind of odd, as the song really doesn’t fit the movie. But, whatever, it’s still a good song. Everything works. It doesn’t feel like half of it wants to be a concept album, it’s not hungry for the Ninetiestalgia, Its just good pop stupid. It sounds good. It’s none offensive. It’s not challenging, but that’s not a problem. It’s just great. Shame I can’t say that on the whole for Take That. While they currently seem on a good track (despite the whole band, including…Robbie… coming back for a 25 year tour next year, which could go horribly) I just can’t ignore that this is very much a half and half thing. And sadly, the bad half just pushes out. It wouldn’t have, had Progress not happened. Do I like Take That? Modern, yes, for the most part. They are not a band I would rush to see live (although I have seen them live, and it was beautiful), but I wouldn’t exactly turn it down. But, anyway. I need to move on. Got more bands to cover. Take That is alright, okay? NEXT!

Fall Out Boy

TAKE THIS TO YOUR GRAVE (2003)
DAD : It is probably apt that I'm listening to this mungy grungy stuff at my son's behest. At time of writing a bunch of numpties with various bits of metal hanging off their faces going by the name of  Disturbed are likely to hit it big with a cover of S&Gs 'Sound Of Silence'. I'm surprised it hasn't been hijacked before by the emo generation. Gawd knows how you categorize all this stuff, I hear about nu-metal, death metal, I-don't-know-what-kind-of metal. Fall Out Boy appear to be top of my son's list of favourite bands, and I'm not surprised, he goes for the lighter side of thrashy grunge, which what it is. I like a spectrum, so let's put Napalm Death at one end and Busted at the other, with, oh I don't know, Nirvana somewhere in the middle. This places FOB among the higher frequencies, lets say heavier than Fountains Of Wayne but lighter than My Chemical Romance (getting to the end of my knowledge of angsty bands now). I can't say any of the songs stand out that much. This album is not on Spotify, but a few songs are available as live versions or on YouTube. I'll give them this, they are good at a song title, the opener is 'Tell That Mick He Just Made My List Of Things To Do Today'. Other adventurous titles are 'Homesick At Space Camp' and 'Postcards From A Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here)' and credit must be given for the wit of 'Reinventing The Wheel To Run Myself Over'. If it is all like this I will get bored quickly, but let's see.

SON: The first album isn’t even on Spotify. This is a good start. In any case, FOB is an early two thousand pop-punk group that never seemed to take itself too seriously. At least, that’s what I find. I can say I have listened to all but the first two albums before, so there may be some prejudgements there, but what can I say? I like this band. In any case, launching into it we have ‘Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today’, and yes, most of the song titles (at least for this album, they get more sensible later on) are like this. It starts with some kinda thrash mettle-y guitars, and heavy drums. The lead singer Patrick Stump does a good job conveying the lyrics. I think the time signature fluctuates. I did pick up a point of 4/4, but I expect the rest is in compound time. Next ‘Dead On Arrival’. If I did have to say something, I feel they sound a little too much like their peers. That’s not to say it’s bad, But I don’t entirely feel like I am listening to Fall Out Boy, and rather something like a relatively happy Three Days Grace. 4/4, but, unlike my previous “subject” it’s not as noticeable. “Grand Theft Autumn” is not a parody video game. I don’t have much to say. Quite like this one, honestly. Nothing special, but it’s still decent. Certainly 4/4 though. ‘Saturday’ is a bit too generic pop punk for me. It does sound a little more Fall Out Boy though, while still not quite fitting in with their later stuff. Can’t quite discern a time signature. Weird death mettle lyrics a little way in though. ‘Homesick At Space Camp” is a little jumbled. Patrick's singing is a little hard to hear at times, and it is another time that I don’t entirely feel like I am listening to FOB. I still quite like this though. 4/4. Took me a short while to figure that out though. ‘Send Postcards from A Plane Crash Wish You Were Here’ as well as sporting the most amazing title since ‘Tell that Mick’, also has some nice guitar riffs, and some almost rap speed lyrics from Patrick. Shame it's likely sped up. Oh well. It’s another break up song. I do have to say I am a little disheartened by the similarity between all the tracks. Only the other day did I listen to one of their more recent albums, and almost every song is distinct. Here, though, I couldn’t tell the difference between this or the next track. Speaking of, ‘Chicago Is So Two Years Ago’ is again nice riffs, more similarity to what came before, and more lyrics about break ups. If I wanted to be writing about songs about break ups, I would be doing this on Breaking Benjamin. Although, I must say that I am now annoyed at Fall Out Boy, as it turns out that, ten years later, they would sample lyrics from this song for a far better one, on a far better album. 8/8. ‘The Pros And Cons Of Breathing’ Is yet again closer to the later stuff they would do, but is still 'hate breakup' nonsense. Will these four just grow up? ‘Grenade Jumper’ sounds more Green Day than FOB at the beginning, but it settles down easily enough. I will admit, the guitar in this one can be really real at times. Patrick obviously discovered voice modulation for this one, as he seems to change it up often enough. ‘Calm Before The Storm’ Is where I feel like I couldn’t care less. This is just a little to eh for even me. I can’t say anything. Hoping the other guy can shine some light on it when it comes around. ‘Reinventing The Wheel To Run Myself Over’ is a bit of a school ground rebellion chant esque song. You know the ones. 'Another Brick' type thing. I have very little too say at this point, but at least there are only two tracks left. ‘The Patron Saints of Liars And Fakes’ is very much a product of the early two thousands. At least it’s not a break up. It’s a song about a couple who are worried about a break up. Big difference. Still good Guitar ness, which just sounds so good. I won’t pretend I haven’t enjoyed this album, even with its lack of standout songs like in later ones. Finally, is ‘Roxanne’, which is a cover of a ‘police’ song. Its quite different to the rest of the album, but, honestly, kinda comes with covers. Unless you completely redo the entire thing. For clarification of what I mean, see Katzenjammers cover of ‘Land Of Confusion’ as compared to Disturbed cover of the same song. For the record, this one is a Disturbed, not a Katzenjammer. Not bad. Overall, the album is…alright. Nothing too special, and none of it really stands out. Cover is the four band members just sitting there. It’s a shame. The rejected cover is so much more interesting.

FROM UNDER THE CORK TREE (2005)

DAD: OK. I'm beginning to sort of see the point. There's nothing wrong with this and it is quite uplifting. Very commercial though. Whatever happened to liking bands because they were a bit challenging. They maintain good song titling form, 'Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued', 'I've Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth' and 'Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part To Save The Scene And Stop Going To Shows)' all show a need to provide a full and complete explanation of What The Song Is About. The more snappily monikered 'Dance Dance' is particularly good, but overall it becomes samey-samey. I'm sure the lyrics are meaningful if you are 15, but I'm nearly 50. It's not designed for me, and if you are not moved by the lyrics it really is just a procession of light thrashy teenage angst.

SON: Well, seeing as I have already finished with the first album, and the second half of this duet has yet to even begin writing that, I may as well cement my lead by jumping straight into Under The Cork Tree. I think the drummer changed between Take This To Your Grave and Cork Tree, but I don’t know. First up, and boy is this a fun title… ehem…. “Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldn’t Get Sued” … yea. They do seem to have settled more into the Fall Out Boy style, with this song still having the more punk elements of the last album, but they are still strong. Our Lawyer does certainly embrace this. Its fairly heavy and rocky, but easily less so than the last one. ‘Of All The Gin Joints In The World” is a bit more in your face than Our Lawyer, But is still quite listenable. “Dance Dance” is the most “Fall Out Boy” song yet, though the mix of styles and tones I tend to associate with them still isn’t quite there. It still fits in with the rest of their stuff though. I think I find it closer due to the more varied chorus/verse structure.  8/8. ‘Sugar We’re Goin Down’ is a classic, In my opinion. It also does fit the pop structure more than the punk side. The verses are very laid back, with the bridge dropping out almost entirely and then a strong chorus. It finally feels like Fall Out Boy. It also has a very sweet music video, which is surprisingly heartfelt. This also coined what would become a sort of Fall Out Boy slogan/ tagline “going down swingin’”, which later showed up in Save Rock And Roll. ‘Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner’, however, is very much a rock track. Not really sure how to describe it. It’s quite fast, with some nice guitar stuff going on. ‘I’ve Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea’ feels almost like rock and roll. It isn’t. far from it. It’s not bad. I must say I feel like I missed most of it. Patrick's lyrics are quite droney, but it’s not as bad as certain other singers…anyway, ‘7 Minutes In Heaven (Atavan Halen)’ sounds weird. Patrick’s singing is easily drowned out by the guitar. I guess this one is in the spirit of Green Day era grunge.  If you like that stuff, this is your thing. Otherwise, very ignorable. ‘Sophomore Slump Or Comeback Of the Year’ kind of sounds like proto “Hey Monday” and I have no idea why I think that. All I know is that I like it. 4/4. ‘Champagne For My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends’ has nothing to it. I can't say anything on it that’s meaningful. And I think we have the new best song tittle ever, with ‘I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Love Song Written About Me’ both shows the high self-awareness I mentioned a little way back, and also that the song is so generic that they couldn’t come up with a good name. and then the death mettle vocals come in. gahh! ‘A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More “touch me”’ reminds me of ‘The Girl All The Bad Guys Want’ and that’s about it. ‘Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying’ sounds very dark from the beginning. So far the best track. And the death mettle returns. FOB really needs to stop that. Overall its not bad, but half way through it ends, and the speaking starts. Its…weird. Finally ‘XO’ is the best song with an emoji as a tittle. Its fun and heavy. it does fit in with the overall generic-other-than-the-singles flow this album has had, but I can't complain. And that was it. I can defiantly see where its going, but… it still isn’t quite there. That said, Its ‘Infinity On High’ next, which is just…yes. Art is a movie thearter looking over a van in the snow. No cork trees. Fall out boy, you disappoint me.

INFINITY ON HIGH (2007)

DAD: First track is 'Thriller'. A cover of Jacko's pinnacle of achievement might be interesting. He lends himself to this kind of stuff as evidenced by Alien Ant Farm's 'Smooth Criminal'. Alas, this is one of FOB's own compositions. It's OK, has a tiny hint of 'Strange Town' by the Jam about it, with that kind of fast drum/guitar intro. What astonishes me most about Fall Out Boy is that they don't get more mainstream airplay. They are right out of the Maroon 5 mould and you simply can't get away from that lot on the radio. Maybe they get onto Radio 1 a lot. I stopped listening to that in 1994. I do detect a degree of increased competence and commerciality in this album though. I bet the fans accused them of selling out, I would have if I was 15. Worse than that though is that they take on the most abused song of our times 'Hallelujah'. I've heard X-Factor versions, Gareth Malone TV Choir versions and Christian versions with the lyrics changed. If you bother listening to anything other than Leonard Cohen or Jeff Buckley then you're wasting everybody's time. In fairness this is just a section of a song called 'Hum Hallelujah', so I'll commit their sentence to manslaughter rather than murder of it. They have their Spinal Tap moment with 'Golden' which is clearly written in the "saddest key of all". Oooh, oooh, oooh! Recognizable hit time. 'Thnks fr th MMrs' (it's written in text speak see? which means vowels are frowned upon - Wikipedia calls it a 'disemvoweling', which I quite like ). I must know it from some TV montage. Anyway, it IS a good piece of punky pop. However it is followed by another good piece, and another and another. That's fine, but I'm not listening to the lyrics and I doubt they are interesting, so it may be good, but its also monotonous.

SON: And we reach the point when Fall Out Boy became good. Well, not good. They were always good. From ‘Infinity’ onwards though, it’s very obvious they knew who they were. Punk guitars mixed in with lots and lots of musical genres. The obvious examples of this on here are ‘This Ain’t A Scene, It’s An Arms Race’ and ‘Thnks Fr Th Mmres’, but it’s all quite good, even if it is a shame that the opening (‘Thriller’) song isn’t a cover of the Michael Jackson classic. Patrick seems to be singing to a more pop tone now, as well, as with a lot more “whoa” and “uh” stylings to make even the mighty Goldblum blush. If I did have to file a complaint, though, it does all sound a bit too much like “PANIC! At The Disco” which, I must stress, Is not bad. I love P!ATD as much as the next angsty emo teen nutter, but I feel that they do them better than FOB could ever do. Not a bad thing though. Fall Out Boy pull off this revamped sound really well. Its shame the titles are kind of off with this one. Sure, you do still get some good ones like the aforementioned ‘This Ain’t A Scene, It’s An Arms race’ and ‘Thnks Fr Th Mmres’, as well as ‘I’m Like A Lawyer With The Way I’m Always Trying To Get You Off’, but you also get the considerably crap ‘Golden’ and ‘Hum hallelujah’, which is also a good segueway to show that there are still some forgettable tracks, such as ‘Hum Hallelujah’, and the salt is rubbed in further when they start recreating the Jeff Buckley track of far better quality. Maybe I should suggest Buckley as an artist. However, back to Fall Out Boy. the track titling is not necessarily reminiscing of quality, as listening to ‘Golden’ I can’t help but love it. Must quickly mention ‘Thnks Fr Th Mmres’, due to its great use of Cellos and trumpets at the beginning. It even has a castanet/ukulele solo mid-way through. The album plods on, and no where do I feel I am hearing the same song as before. Goanna jump straight to the final track of ‘G.I.N.A.S.F.S’ as, well, I don’t feel there is much more to say. This is the closest this album seems to get to Cork tree or Grave, and even then, this seems like a lullaby sung as a rock song, which…oddly works. And, for the sake of my reputation: 6/8. Yea. We went there. Couldn’t help but chuckle when a Steven Hawking style voice synth thing says “now press repeat” at the end. Album art is a sheep with wings on fire in front of a handmade nativity scene with a door to Narnia in the background. And you all think I am joking….

FOLIE A DEUX (2008)

DAD: Hmm. This is a little better. There are some Chilli Pepper pretensions at the start of the opening track 'Disloyal Order Of Water Buffaloes' and they use the old Spirit In The Sky riff trick on second track 'I Don't Care'. I may have noted this before, but if you want to hear a great take on that riff, see if you can find a version of Springsteen's 'Reason To Believe'  as performed on the Magic tour (ca. 2007). As a whole this album is all much of a muchness however. There's a modicum of menace on 'Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet' and they mention "sandman", so I guess they are trying to intrude into Metallica's territory. On '(Coffee's For Closers)' they show a staggering lack of lyrical originality with a couplet urging us to do something in the air like we just don't care. Dear old Larry Blackmon's red codpiece must be spinning in his smalls drawer. Is that really Elvis Costello on 'What A Catch, Donnie'?. Well, apparently so. He does add a touch of class, but that almost goes without saying. On '27' I think there is an attempt to rhyme "rich" with "orphanage". I was moderately interested in what 'w.a.m.s' stood for, which led me to the Wikipedia entry, which is clearly written by a committed devotee. There's lots about the meaning of the songs and the literary references. Well you get a lot of that if you listen to loads of pompous concept albums from the early seventies too, but they have an air of absurdity as well, which helps to sugar the pill. This lot are too earnest for their own good. Anyway, back to 'w.a.m.s'. Couldn't commit enough interest to find out, but the closing a capella gospel section is the most interesting thing on the album. '20 Dollar Nose Bleed' seems to have drug-related theme, but I don't need to worry that my son will pick up any bad habits, he's far more puritanical than me. Last track 'West Coast Smoker' contains the rather good lyric "Don't feel bad for the suicidal cats; Gotta kill themselves nine times before they get it right"

However, ultimate verdict. I've listened to this once. It was enough.

SON: On the word document where I write these while on the train, I made the working title ‘Let The Guitars Scream Like A Fascist’. That was due to this album. While it is its own thing, certainly, listening to this does feel a bit too much like the B-sides for Infinity On High. The most notable track is ‘I Don’t Care’ which is so teenage stupid angst that it can’t help but come off as cheesy and ironic, which I believe is how it’s meant to be. It also has the aforementioned ‘fascist’ line. Honestly, this is a downgrade from Infinity. It’s all a bit too similar for me. Even the naming has stopped, with the closest to the previous albums being ‘Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet’, and maybe ‘Twenty-Dollar Nose Bleed’. The album isn’t bad, but it does tend to feel a bit, well, similar. Album art is a guy in a bear suit giving a piggy back to a bear. And yes, I know this was short, but I am saving up the deep, long winded analysis for the next two albums.

SAVE ROCK AND ROLL (2013)

DAD: Fall Out Boy are leaving me few options than to try and work out why I find this so uninspiring. My first theory is that every song is a guitar/drums thrash. Where are the cowbells, flutes, handclaps and whistling? I must assume that they know their market and exploit it to the full but I am proud to play the outraged middle-aged Dad and harrumph that it all sounds the same. Lyrically they aren't very interesting either. But, the songs are catchy, 'Where Did The Party Go' is particularly good in that respect. For a moment I thought they were covering Adele's 'Rolling In The Deep' when 'Just One Yesterday' started. 'Young Volcanoes' is SO like another piece of bland pop that it's almost frustrating that I can't remember what it is (ah, just got it: 'Hey Soul Sister' by doppelganger band Train). What surprises me the most however is that they seem to be quite well regarded in the music industry. Elvis Costello on the last album and Elton on this one. He crops up on the title track, which ends the album. Roping in Courtney Love on 'Rat-A-Tat' smacks of credibility seeking desperation. This counts as a comeback album, since it was their first in 5 years (Shhh! Don't tell them about Kate Bush).

SON: After five years in the break up vault, Fall Out Boy reformed and gave us this: Save Rock and Roll. Honestly, I recommend that everyone goes and quickly reads my thoughts on Gorillaz 'Plastic Beach', as this album, at least to me, works as sort of the anti of that album. Why? Well, they both feature heavy amounts of cameos and collaborations with other artists. The difference? Save rock and roll is good. In fact, I dare to say great. This may be my overall favourite album of all time. It’s certainly my favourite fall out boy album. Before I finally stop rambling, I must mention that Fall Out Boy made music videos for all of the songs on the album, using them to tell a story called ‘The Young Blood Chronicles’, which is actually a pretty decent watch. Jumping in is ‘The Phoenix’ which very much a large, cinematic, battle worthy song. Is it bad that I can quote every line from every one of these songs? ‘cause I can. 4/4. Also, nice mix of violins and guitars. Oh, and yes, there are no clever tittles. It’s a shame, but the music itself makes up for it. The closest you get is the second track ‘My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light ‘em Up)’, which is 4/4. This song is, again, quite cinematic, but in a different way to ‘The Phoenix’. It’s very catchy. ‘Alone Together’ is 4/4, but loses the cinematic edge that the others have. Got to love the lyric "my heart is like a stallion; they love it more when its broken". The song also has a sort of performed live edge, due to the crowdesque voices who pop in in the chorus and bridge. ‘Where Did The Party Go’ is, yet again, 4/4, and now more of a love song rather than break up one. It’s very easily hummable. The effect on Patrick's voice is a bit distracting, but it doesn’t sound too bad. They leave in a ‘still recording’ thing at the end, though. Not sure why. ‘Just One Yesterday’ reminds me of something I can’t put my finger on. it feature’s ‘Foxes’, who at first I thought where a band, but are actually an artist from London. UK FTW! They do a good voice. Her voice is very nice. Honestly, might look into her now. ‘The Mighty Fall’ is a very angry sounding rock song, almost sounding like the old stuff. There is a rap interlude by ‘Big Sean’, which, despite sounding a tad forced, is still listenable, and very catchy. ‘Miss Missing You’ is defiantly embracing the fact that Fall Out Boy are now a pop band. Really like this one, despite it not being that complicated. I think it might be 5/4. ‘Death Valley’ is the most forgettable song on here. Its not bad, just a bit forgettable. The lyrics are also quite weird. "we are alive, here in Death Valley, but don’t take love off the table yet"? I don’t get it. At least it mixes in some weird dubstep elements. ‘Young Volcanoes’ is also a bit forgettable, but the acoustic guitar sounds really great. Not much to say, really. 8/8, if I am not mistaken. next is ‘Rat A Tat’, featuring Courtney love, who sounds like a drag queen. Honestly, she is the worst collaborator on this album. However, I still love this song. Sure, the lyrics are a bit odd, but I still quite like it. Finally, the title track ‘Save Rock And Roll’, featuring Elton John as god. Because of course. This features the samples from ‘Chicago Is So Two Years Ago’. As well as the line ‘I will defend the faith, going down swinging’. SAID IT WOULD COME BACK! Really love this song. It’s one of the few songs that good ol’ Elton has done that I can say that for. His voice has always been a bit strange. He does a stellar job here though. And that was ‘Save Rock And Roll’. Is it really poppy? Yep. Is it easy to listen to? Course. But I love it. Always will. Cover is a guy smoking, holding hands with a…monk, I think? It has nothing to do with the music. Ignore it.

AMERICAN BEAUTY/AMERICAN PSYCHO (2015)
DAD: This is better, but they are a bit obvious whenever they sample melodies from other artists. Here it is Suzanne Vega's 'Tom's Diner' on 'Centuries', which is top of their 'Popular' tunes on Spotify and The Munsters' theme tune on Uma Thurman and I know for a fact that Pat doesn't realize what it is. The title track is great actually, but let's not kid ourselves that this is anything other than a radio friendly pop-rock band. Suzzer does get a small sample on 'Centuries'. 'Novocaine' is a typical example of a pretty bland approach to what might appear to be an edgy subject, but if you want to listen to a song with Novocaine in the title, I would suggest 'Novocaine For The Soul' by Eels. Listening to all these albums there seems to be a lot of layering on the vocal, or they've turned the treble up, or something. It doesn't help to dismiss the notion that it all sounds the same. I can understand that it is uplifting and noisy and has a degree of cleverness about it at times, but there is so much more interesting stuff out there. In fairness, I didn't get Bowie until my thirties and the stuff I like now is as much to do with nostalgia as with musical merit. I'm sure he'll grow out of it.

SON: I own this one. I regret nothing. Honestly, I am not sure what to say about this album. It’s kind of similar to Folie, honestly. It feels kind of like the B-sides for Save Rock And Roll. The difference is that I think that this is of comparable quality to its predecessor. The album starts with 'Irresistible', which managed about three music videos. Why? Search me, but, for whatever reason, there is a version with Demi Lovato singing some of it. It’s not a remix, the music and arrangement is the exact same, it’s just demi singing some of it. ‘American beauty/American psycho’, as well as being the title track, isn’t that bad. It’s Quite punchy, and has some of the best lyrics on the album. ‘Centuries’ samples ‘Tom’s Diner’, but manages to still be its own thing. ‘Jet Pack Blues’ is a bit slower, and very hummable. ‘Novocaine’ starts of very misleadingly. Its actually a fairly relaxed song (compared to its bombastic opening). ‘Favourite Record’ is very catchy. Got some nice altered vocals in there. Ooo! Movie song here! ‘Immortals’ was used in Disney’s big hero six. Great movie, and really good song, In my humble opinion. Time signature wise, this one is oddly hard to pin. It’s not 4/4. Or is it. I keep counting 6/4, which, last I checked, isn’t actually a thing. The album closes with ‘Twin Skeletons (Hotel In NYC)’ which… I don’t have much to say on. It's Fall Out Boy doing Fall Out Boy. I am not sure of the significance of ‘Twin Skeletons’. It was the image on the front of the FOB greatest hits “Believers Never Die”. At least Patrick sings his heart out on this one. And that was Fall Out Boy. In my opinion, a rocky start, but a good ending. Technically they are still together, and given their tendencies to release albums at two year intervals, I will likely have to wait till next year for the next one. Oh well. I can wait, and that time spread is no-where as bad as some artists I know of. Cover is a kid with the American flag painted over half of his face. Now, bring on the next lot!

MANIA (2018)
DAD: Quite a while since the last post. Pat has decided the time is right to dust off the blog, so we have a few post-post releases across a number of artists to look at. I find this stuff fairly difficult to get a grip on, so whereas my usual method now involves a week of repeated listens, I'm going more old school on this and will attempt a commentary based on just one or two hearings. For this particular album I did give it a decent crack of the whip earlier he year in advance of seeing the band live at the O2 in London. We'd been to see Linkin Park in 2017, about a month prior to Chester Beddington's suicide and I had to reluctantly admit that they did have a pretty visceral edge. Fall Out Boy? Not so much. The fan demographic is probably a good 10 years younger than Linkin Park and easily 25 years younger than me. It was a well put together show though, lots of fireworks, rising platforms and charging about. Video screens at live gigs are now constantly showing fast-edited images. It's all part of the dizzying assault. They flirt with risque language. 'Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea' is a decent album opener and a bit sweary, although I'm not sure even they know what they mean by "eau de resistance". Whatever, the kids lapped it up. They almost go reflective on 'Wilson (Expensive Mistakes)' and Pat's right,  "I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker colour is a decent line", although I'm sure it must have originated on a T shirt. They do mix it up a bit, 'Heaven's Gate' is positively slow, kind of Rag'n'Bone Man when he's not really trying. I quite liked the collaboration with Burna Boy, 'Sunshine Riptide' and yes, the vocal effects on 'Young and Menace' are irritating. 

SON: Right, enough time dicking about doing this again, let's dive in again. In no particular order, I am starting this round of housekeeping by doing the latest fallout boy album, Mania. and , honestly, I am kind of glad I took a while to get round to doing this, because I reckon that had I written about this album when it first came out, I would probably have given it an unfair beating. At first, I kinda hated this one. A lot of the tracks have a similar structure, which rubbed me the wrong way first time I heard them. But, then I went through it again… and again, and honestly I think that the album is far better than it appears at first glance. There are a few dud tracks (‘Bishop's Knife Trick’ and ‘Sunshine Riptide’, while neither are bad, spring to mind), but the album seems to have been built on the idea of “hype at all costs”, and from that perspective it's great. Most of the tracks are incredibly memorable, and are the kinda thing you just want to turn right up and sing along too, damn the neighbours. Special mention to ‘Wilson (Expensive Mistakes)’ for the genius Line of “I’ll Stop Wearing Black When They Make A Darker Colour”, which also serves to remind me that I am a disgusting emo. Hell. ‘Young and Menace’ is my favorite track of the album, though, despite the chorus annoying me at first, with its pitch-shifted vocals from Stump, But it did grow on me.so… yea… COVER: Purple corridor, funneling into a picture of a wave. Hey, it's far from the weirdest fall out boy cover…